Prayer

I am not strong in faith and to be honest I don't have a relationship with god but over 2 weeks ago a situation caused me to experience hate, rage, anger and grieve. I've been struggling with all of these emotions and not knowing what to do with them. I'm here to tell you how exhausted I've been carrying all of that. Last Sunday I was lead to church and I was an emotional mess. Service spoke to me that day and I felt better, for a moment, but then those feelings came back stronger and once again I found myself sitting in church this morning. The words again spoke to me and I felt even stronger leaving today then I did last Sunday. I was even able to apply those words to my actions today. I Know I will struggle again this week and I can't say that I'm saved or that God is completely in my heart but I can say there is something happening as my heart feels lighter and Im already looking to next to Sunday.

I really can't remember a time that I didn't have Jesus. I asked Him into my heart from a very young age. All my life I have felt such a strong connection with Jesus and He has always been with me, but as a child I also endured abuse and it shaped my self image very negatively. I was saved, and I loved Jesus with all my heart. I got married, I had children, and they grew up. I always did my best to show Jesus to my children and bring them up in the love of the Lord. During all of it I sought after God, He worked in my life, and I grew as His child. I ministered in and out of the church in various ways all of my life, but I had unspoken hurts and woundedness that never seemed to heal. Without going into all the details my world came to a screeching halt in 2014. My whole world was turned upside down; I was on the brink of losing everything that was most important to me. By all accounts my marriage was over, it had been shredded was seemed to be beyond repair. I was so confused and I didn't know what to do, but I did know the One, the only One I could turn to, and that was Jesus! At the lowest point in my life I cried out to Him again, for I had cried out to him countless times before. I repented of the mess I had made, and the damage I had caused. Jesus spoke to me; He told me to trust Him, so I did. My husband and I had heard of a small group meeting in our small town, we knew it was an extention of Life Change Church, but that's all we knew. As it turned out Pastor Ron (no coincidences, right) was leading this group. My husband and I sat quietly through the discussion. Afterward Pastor Ron approached us, he could tell we were in really bad shape, he offered his help, and we took it! Pastor met with us for a few months. For the first couple of Sundays I just soaked in God's healing presence. I wept bitterly, gut wrenching cries from my heart, I couldn't control it if I wanted to. Some people may have thought I was a bit looney, but God was healing me, He was healing my heart, He was restoring me, and He was delivering my soul. After that I spent many Sundays at the alter. We became members of Life Change in 2015. Jesus saved me in every way possible. Satan wanted me destroyed and along with that, my marriage, and my family, but Jesus said, no! There are no words to describe how thankful, and how grateful I am to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! He is my everything!

When I was 5 my mom left and took my two siblings. This caused me to question whether I was ever good enough while growing up. I had so much self doubt and feelings of unworthiness. I was very blessed to live down the street from Bible Baptist Church and I went to church every chance I could. It was my safe haven, a place where I felt loved and protected from all the hurt I felt. One summer the Pastor paid my way to go to a summer Bible camp and this where I truly got to know God and accepted Jesus as my savior. I finally felt like I belonged somewhere. Then as a teenager, I was raped by a family member and the rest of my family did nothing. I again felt like I was not worthy and eventually turned to drugs and alcohol to try and numb the pain. At the age of 24, I got pregnant and it was my wake up call. I decided to turn my life around and signed up for some college classes. I wanted to build a better life for my daughter and I . It took awhile, but I finally started to go back to church again and found Life Change Church. My heart started to fill up with the love God had to offer and I began to feel whole again. Through the love and grace if God I was able to forgive the person that raped me and I pray for them often! Our God is so good! "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." Isaiah 43:2-3

Today I drove up on 1 vehicle accident, hit a tree, when I got out of my truck I could hear screaming and cursing. The driver had compound leg fracture, passenger was outside at the driver's side applying a tourniquet, I got in the vehicle and lifted the broken steering column up hoping to ease her pain, it didn't. Looking me in the eyes pleading, I did only what I could, I prayed, asking Jesus to ease her pain, the relief/calming was instant! A few minutes later the fire department showed up. Our Jesus is amazing and to be present when He works a blessing!

Since I was a child I knew who Jesus was. But knowing who he was and knowing him are two different things. As I grew into my teens then 20's and now into my 30's, my life was a mess. I carried the attitude of "I can take care of it myself." I had no direction, things I experienced as a kid haunted me and I was so angry all the time. As my life began to spiral and seemed it was at it's end, I broke. I sat alone in my room and literally cried out to Him. I've never been emotional and friends know that. But all the ugliness, all the pain, all the regret and all the walls began to fall. I cried out to him and begged him for help. He answered. I sat outside weeks later with my very loving, patient and wonderful girlfriend. She by all accounts deserves better than me. I sat there and cried, letting it out. Telling her how He had changed me. And I know it's hard to really believe if people can change, well through Christ they can. I'm proof. I doubted and abandoned him through all my years and became a person I was ashamed of. He took that person into his loving arms without hesitation. He loved me, and I could feel it. I never knew what that could feel like, but I never want to stop feeling it. I'll pursue Him and learn more about him all I can. I owe everything to him. His love and forgiveness is real. Please let Him in to your heart.

Back pain that I had 14 years ago before surgery flared up again. The devil keeps trying to wreak havoc and slowing me down. I asked the elders to pray over me. There were so many words spoken, I wish I could have recorded it. One word that hit me was, Matthew 7:9; "If a child asks his father for a loaf of bread, will he be given a stone instead?" I always try and plow through on my own knowing God's got this, but there's a blessing that comes forth and an increase in faith when you have others pray for you. To hear and see things from others' perspectives is so cool! Today, I write this pain free. (Even after sleeping on my stomach this morning that was a guaranteed recipe for pain!) Jesus loves me. . .this I know.

One of my grand daughters had the opportunity to spend some time with her friends before the official social distancing was put into effect. I'm not exactly how the subject of God and heaven came up, but one friend expressed the opinion that "she doesn't believe in all that eternal stuff." My grand daughter took the opportunity to explain to her and her other friend about how God loves her and wants to spend eternity with her, to which one girl began to cry and expressed that she wants to be included in being saved. So she met Christ, and the other girl confirmed that she already believes! There's always a reason to be thankful, even when forced to change the way we live our day to day. Worth the inconvenience!

My name is Alexandra Geballa and Im 16. I've attended Life Change for 4 years now, and it really has changed my life and showed me who God is and how amazing he is. I moved from Maryland to Michigan in 2016 leaving my dad, best friend, and all other friends and family behind. It's very hard being away from them but I do my best to visit whenever I have the chance. Before covid-19 came around I bought a plane ticket to Maryland for spring break to finally see my dad and best friend since last year. I've been counting down the days, just full of excitement. On March 23rd 2020, we got the news from our governor that we will be on a 3 week stay at home order, which would include the week I was supposed to be in Maryland with my dad. I have been completely devastated that the opportunity for me to see my dad has pretty much been taken away from me due to the spread of this virus. I'm completely heartbroken and I've been trying to look to God to help fill the fatherly figure in my life until I can see my dad and I know God will be there throughout my whole life. God will forever be my heavenly father and I know that. Ive been really down about this opportunity being taken away from me all day long, and I spent the whole morning listening to praise and worship and remembering God is always on my side. But I had to get up and go on with my day and get my tire fixed before places begin to close due to the virus. As they looked at my tires, I had 2 nails side by side in my front wheel. They told me they would put a brand new tire on, and it would be covered in warranty. The worker then told me that it would be $11 to renew the warranty. Due to being off work from the Coronavirus I had little to no money in my account and I began worrying about how I would pay for other things if I paid the $11. It is a very small amount of money but I only had $15 until i got my next pay check, and I wasn't sure when that would be. I called my dad wondering if he could send $11 to my account and he quickly responded yes. I was super grateful. As I hung up with my dad, a gentlemen next to me asked me if I needed help with paying and I replied back thanking him very much but that my dad was going to help. He answered back by saying he is more than happy to help if I needed it. I continued to thank him. The worker then came out and told me he's ready for me to pay, so I walked up and pulled out my debit card, and ANOTHER man walks up to me, different than the one who offered to help before, and he pulls out a $20 bill and hands it to the worker and says here pay for it all. My face was in shock and I just began to thank him over and over again. The man then went back to his seat and the worker brought me the change. I then walked over to the man and tried to hand him his change back, and he insisted that I kept it. I told him it was really okay and he could have it and he said no I want you to be blessed, and I want you to have it. I began thanking him so much and tears came down my face. I then thanked him one last time, and went out to my car. I was so overwhelmed with love in my heart that two people insisted on helping me. It was a very difficult and upsetting day, and these two people brought so much joy to my day. I will forever be grateful. Both of the men must have heard me on the phone with my dad and they both wanted to help. It doesn't need to be anything big to make someones day, its the glory of God and the people he puts in your life to help you , or even just being a light of positivity in someones day/life. I will never forget this act of kindness. God is so good!

This is a followup to my posting from Monday. I have been praying for one of my co-workers, Josh. Josh and his wife Lisa showed up on my job-site this morning and we sat in a deserted mall to talk about Jesus. Lisa had been a believer and had turned her back on the Lord after a devastating loss. She acknowledged that she needs and wants Him in her life and in her family's. Josh was more reticent but they promised to talk and pray so went on their way. They just called me and they have promised their lives to the Lord and wanted to know how they could get baptized. I am blown away. Please, everyone, use this as an opportunity to share Him with the people you are connecting to. He is so much bigger than we know!